I was working on an assignment for our women's Bible study (I was supposed to have it done last week, sorry Shelly) But it was to prepare a spiritual inventory of our life and identify our spiritual markers. A spiritual marker identifies a time of transition, decision or direction that you know God has guided you.

I'm not sure I can look back over my (now)40 years and accurately place marker where I knew the direction God was pointing me...

I always remember growing up in the church. That's not to say that my family went to church. My mom or dad always dropped me off. I went to Sunday School with all my friends, went to youth group and everything. But the coolest thing was when I got to be an acolyte. It was almost like flaming batons! I walked into the sanctuary with my fancy robe carrying the light that would light the altar candles. I didn't have a clue what it was all about, I just knew I was super-cool. So perhaps a memento of a lit candle would be a good marker...

The scarlet letters of shame were the fabric that many people added to piece by piece. It was almost as if the people that had harmed me in my life each brought a piece to make a patchwork quilt. The hurtful things people had said were like the binding that held it all in place...

The near collapse of my marriage might have been because I was trying to carry that quilt around with me or was I trying to smother the flames of anger and betrayal with a quilt of selfishness and suffering. I left my husband, I packed up everything I had; prepared to never come back. I even took my mix-master...

Later, Dave and I sat at a park bench trying to sort out the pieces of a broken life together. We sat for hours talking and crying together (I think) for the first time. We freely spoke out hearts and began to heal...

When we finally reconciled, I moved back home (mix master in tow) and needed a fresh start for a fresh life. I think I painted every square inch of our house in one week. While my oldest son, Adam, and I were scraping the paint from the french-door's windows, his razor slipped and cut my finger. Happy homecoming - 6 stitches...

There was a tree where we nearly lost Adam in a car accident. We know that God sent an angel (driving an Explorer) to save him. The tree was holding the license plate off the car; 8 feet off the ground. The car had cartwheeled end to end a couple of times...

Popcorn on the floor of church. Nxt.lvl - the youth ministry that will change the landscape of our community. I know it has changed our family! Malachi became involved in nxt.lvl after some friends (persistently) invited him.The more he got involved the more we felt God leading us in a new path. It was a tough transition as a family, but we knew it was God's plan...He left us a trail of popcorn to lead the way...

A trail that leads me back to the tree... the Cross of Calvary. A place where I can sit on my park bench at the feet of Jesus and know for certain where my journey leads. A place where I feel the love and assurance of my Saviour, where I don't need a quilt of shame. A place where my stitches were traded for nail scarred hands. The cross where there is no need for a mix-master to feast on the Bread of Life.

And as for my lit candle...'Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.' Psalm 119:105 (NIV)